Show me the shadow where true meaning lies

fffffffff

2009-11-10T02:18:44Z

~~Zero.~~ Zoro Meet me. Bring your swords. If you don't want to say so. I am not going to be accused or feel like I made anyone do something they didn't want to anymore. I hate that.

So if I call you don't make a fuss

2009-10-21T21:05:54Z

A while ago, after that Gala and all that happened there. I apologized for not being able to do more to help. Elliot said to me "You were there, that was was enough." I thought about it for a long while and still couldn't seem to understand fully. I understand that now.

I wish I could remember, from back then, even just a little bit. Even at that, I've made a promise to Elliot. I will always wonder, but I think I could be okay if I am never able to find the answer.If it is that important to him that I stay out of that. Then I will. I am content to just be here. That is enough.

Before I lose my nerve, before I lose my breath

2009-10-05T09:04:03Z

Reo...we need to talk about what happened. I am saying this here so that I have to follow threw.

~~..because I am very likely to lose the nerve I have if I don't~~

So, the next time you're free let me know.

I've been thinking... I'm tired of thinking

2009-09-24T07:31:02Z

I wonder, just how much shouting I will have to endure. Rather than beat the crap out of Eliot to have him stalk off indignantly, I've just not been showing up. I feel a bit like an idiot. I've actually been waiting for him to ask me what is wrong. Let's face it, it would be awkward of me to just go up to him and tell him "Hey I'm a little pissed off at you. You're insensitive and you hurt my feelings." This is so stupid. I am stupid for even feeling like this. What happened to the girl who didn't need anyone? Didn't really want anyone around long term? Who was mostly happy to be disconnected from people? Now, I am this needy shell of a person that I used to be. It's sickening. More so when I don't even know if this is the right thing to do. Am I supposed to be here? Did I miss something along the way that I shouldn't have? Did I already sabotage myself? Was what happened with him really just nothing at all to me? I thought I could be alright with it if Eliot could forgive me. I am not sure that I am though.

I keep getting so many mixed signals. I guess normal girls go to their girl buddies at this point and sulk over a tub of ice cream or something like that. The closest thing that I have to a good gal pal is Peter, and he has his own stuff to deal with. So for now, I just stalk around with a huge chip on my shoulder and keep snapping at anyone that everything is just fine. I wish I really could believe that myself.

~~Maybe, that guy was right.~~

Guh

2009-09-19T07:46:58Z

What the hell am I doing this for again?

~~I must be some kind of stupid. Or maybe...He is... maybe we both are.~~

Maybe this time...

2009-09-18T02:58:30Z

Peter.

I need to speak with you as soon as possible, it is an important matter. It can't wait too long.

Standing on the edge of reason

2009-09-10T04:48:40Z

I'm tired from all of this. I haven't even gone to this Gala thing yet, I'll be dead on my feet by then if I keep at this rate.

~~What a drag.~~

Words are just words. They get in my way I can never say what I wanna say.

2009-09-03T21:26:26Z

I don't care anymore. I can't do this. I am sorry.

All the things I wish I could have said

2009-08-17T23:50:06Z

I suppose August has always been a bad month for me. So many things have happened to me in August. I feel quite a bit more detached than usual. It's a little bit of a drag sometimes. Emotionally. I don't feel much like talking about it, even if I did think it's important enough to try to. Everyone around me has got their own troubles to worry about. It's probably for the best that I am like this at this point. I wish I could sleep the entire month away.

You didn't get your self into trouble again did you Peter?

Wish

2009-08-01T08:02:18Z

Happy Birthday Elliot.

,,,

2009-07-27T22:34:20Z

Don't even bother. Just don't.

Everyone knows I'm in over my head over my head.

2009-07-13T09:45:10Z

It's been quite a telling last few days. It could have been worse I suppose.

Not at all planned for. I still am not much closer to making any sense of what I am into here. I intend to find out, what Elliot had said about that watch... I really don't know why but I feel like I have to find out as well. I've not felt like I have spoken nearly enough to Peter these days too. I am so frustrated, more so because I cried, in front of Elliot. I can't believe I was so stupid. Now...it seems things are more complicated than ever. I can't even follow threw on what I had set out to anymore. Not after that, not after what he said to me. Not now. Damn it why do you have to be his brother? I am losing my touch. More practice as soon as it's day break.

X.x

2009-06-29T08:43:57Z

It seems I am sick. Must have gotten the flu or something. I feel like I am hacking up a lung.

Peter, sorry bout the shelves of clocks, I'll fix em.

Silver fox, CHA CHA

2009-06-17T07:05:03Z

When my time is over here, if I remember nothing else. I know that I will never forget that it's okay to let people care about you sometimes, and that it's okay to be afraid. As much of a hard time as I give him, I really would be lost with out Peter. I never really thought that he of all people would end up being the best friend I have ever known. But he is. He says I should tell people how I feel. I am so awkward sometimes that is hard. I'll try my best though. I think I'll start today.

Brandon ~~I demand you stop lurking in the shadows.~~ ~~Peter said I should, stop being awkward and talk to you~~ ~~You wouldn't want to ruin a rare moment when I am actually listening to advice Peter gave me would you?~~ ~~God...I feel so stupid doing this~~

If you're interested perhaps we could hang out sometime.

{Cell Phone Post}-Voice

2009-06-07T07:34:30Z

The entry starts off with the sounds of something being rubbed against the receiver end of the phone, perhaps cloth of some sort.
Her voice is low just above a whisper.
"I...I don't even know where here is, I am alive though. Obviously. So, you don't have to be worried about that Peter."
More shifting sounds and a slight grunt of pain.

" I just wish I could remember..."

/end

...

2009-05-14T06:21:11Z

To Whomever Hurt Peter White last night.

I will find you and I will take you apart bit by bit. Or you could come fourth and we'll settle it sooner rather than later, if you have the guts to do so.

Who are you?

2009-04-25T23:26:28Z

I am looking for a Phantom. A tall quiet man with amber eyes and dark hair.

You did me a favor, and I have something that belongs to you.

She's chasing ghosts again and playing flash light tag with her invisable friends.

2009-04-23T07:24:54Z

I...am not so sure I am fuly happy with my choices. I suppose that I will have to adapt. That's all we can do after all.

Adapt.

I don't understand why I am so concerned. It's not like he does anything but annoy me. Wait...that's not entirely true is it? Stupid Rabbit had to go and get himself all messed up. Now, I can't sleep because I am worried about that stupid man. I don't even understand why either. He's damned intollerable mostly. In fact the only person who's been more intollerable was Haine. Ech. I wonder if he ever got it together. I am questioning so much about me these last few days. I wonder if Sensai would be happy with what I have become. I keep telling my self to not give up, but it's pretty hard chasing after ghosts. If I do catch them, will I really like what I see?.

I'm still standing

2009-03-26T01:30:43Z

Yeah. Faces change, but this City is still the same.

At least I've secured a job and a place to stay with someone who doesn't fully annoy me ~~he does sleep after all.~~

I need to gather up the motivation to go to the store. I require real tea.

Nothing to report.

2008-09-25T09:19:05Z

.......

blade_x_maiden @ 2008-09-14T02:26:00

2008-09-14T07:28:33Z

I need a day job, and a place to stay.

blade_x_maiden @ 2008-08-29T19:41:00

2008-08-30T01:04:40Z

Eh....whatever.

Ugh

2008-08-17T06:42:50Z

I will be out of contact for a week or two. I suppose even though the situation is not ideal it is for the best that this happened at this time.

blade_x_maiden @ 2008-08-10T05:37:00

2008-08-10T10:45:15Z

I am angry. I do not care if I have a right to be or not. Tohru, I trust you will explain this to me Monday.

You asked me to keep you in the loop if anything else came up in regards to Tohru. So this is me telling you that yes. Something else came up. ~~I am going to kill that man.~~ I do know Haine was involved with her. I am not sure if he should know this as well since he is someone who might want to know. I will leave that to you to decide.

blade_x_maiden @ 2008-08-05T21:18:00

2008-08-06T02:36:08Z

To the woman who blead on me last night:
You better not have died. It will be most upsetting to know I cut up my favorite shirt for nothing.